The Legend of Fred

The World Famous Pudsey Plodders

Back Row:  Dilbert Pickles, Bill Bored, Francis Maudling, Steve Dearth, Jack Luster, Jimmy Bromide.
Front Row: Willie Stroker, Derek Dullard, Fred Boycott (Capt.), Bob Barrymore, Colin Bland.

The all conquering Pudsey Plodders were together for a mere two seasons - 1958 and 1959.  They never toured, they never won a game, they never lost a game, yet they are famous the world over.
Formed mainly from the drop outs of Pudsey High School, Yorkshire, the lads got together in the spring of 1958 for a cricket knockabout in Pudsey Park. It was here that the lads discovered their special talents. That first knockabout lasted three days, day and night. (some of the lads had to stop to get back down t'mine). During which time, no batsmen were dismissed, and no runs were scored. Fred Boycott batted for three days and the rest of the team took turns to partner him at the wicket. Many of Fred's partners were forced to retire hurt with blisters or splinters. The bats being used were made from rough sawn timber that had no grips and often caused the batsman's hands to bleed. Fred persevered through out the pain.

The lads decided to form a team, and the Pudsey Plodders, were born. They managed to get into the Bratford and District Colts League following the late withdrawal of the Laisterdyke Lethargic's team due to a bout of indifference that ravaged the team that year.

In them days matches were played over the two days of the often grey weekend. One innings matches unlimited overs, no fielding restrictions, proper cricket to hone the players skills. Matches started at 6.00am on the Saturday with a cut off time of 9.30pm on both Saturday and Sunday. No breakfast, lunch or tea breaks were taken. The games often consisted of 600 overs in total.

From the first hour of the first game it became clear that the Pudsey Plodders had something special.

Day 1.

Playing Listlesshills Tigers from Bratford, Pudsey won the toss, following a superb call of heads from the self appointed captain, Fred Boycott.

Fred chose to bat. His opening partner that day was Colin Bland. During the first hour 22 overs were bowled. Not a run was scored from the bat.  Fred and Colin left anything that was not on the wicket, the ball sometimes skimming as close as a sixteenth of an inch from the off stump. The pair of them had an immediate awareness of the 'corridor of certainty'.  Any ball on the wicket was met with a firm forward defensive block sending the ball immediately to earth never more than a foot in front of them. During that first hour the ball made contact with the bat only seven times. It was enthralling stuff.
So it continued throughout day 1. Fred screaming at Colin at regular intervals throughout the day whenever Colin dared to venture out of his crease when a loose shot from him beat the infield. 'Get back lad' was Fred's regular cry.

Close of Play Day 1.

39 - 0 off  320 overs.   12 nb, 27 wides.

Day 2.

Colin failed to show. It was reported he had attended Pudsey General hospital at 9.45pm the previous evening and had been admitted with symptoms of severe tediumosmosis. A condition related to exposure to prolonged periods of boredom..
Fred arrived early at the ground as fresh as a daisy. Making use of the on site nets for the two hours prior to the match.
Following the drawing of lots in the Pudsey changing room Dilbert Pickles was selected to continue the innings with Fred.
Fred gave Dilbert his instructions. ''Block or leave''. This is all he needed to know.
Dilbert faced his first ball and with his eyes closed took an almighty swing at the ball, getting a thick edge to third man. Fred shouted ''Go Go''.  Fred remained in his crease. Dilbert was run out by 20 yards.
Dilbert protested with Fred that he had shouted GO,  ''Nay lad, ''No No'', I shouted you cloth eared clot''. It became apparent from the incident that Fred was not prepared to share the wicket with sloggers.
Next man in was Jimmy Bromide. He followed Fred's instructions to the letter.
The match continued until 9.30pm. at which point the Plodders had progressed to 53 - 0 with all the runs coming from extras.

The Listlesshills captain approached Fred and asked why he had not gone for runs to make a game of it.
''Don't be daft lad, we've not come here to watch you lot bat, soft arse''. Fred went straight to the nets for a further two hours practice.

The Legend of Fred was born.